365 Reasons To Quit Hiv. Welcome. : hiv life

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Please Don't Infect Me, I'm Sorry

Please Don't Infect Me, I'm Sorry:

Attitudes to sex with HIV+ guys. I had a rather dramatic recent experience when I revealed my status to one of my casual sex buddies (I was casual to them anyway) so reading about these different reactions, seen from a negative guy's point of view, were interesting - if not new.

'via Blog this'

Almost fainted when I heard Obama lifted HIV Travel ban

After 22 years, Obama finally lifted the travel ban which prevent anyone with HIV from entering the USA. That never stopped anyone although some had to suspend treatment to avoid getting caught, thus taking their lives into their hands.

Obama Signs Ryan White Act, Lifts HIV Travel & Immigration Ban

We couldn't tell our parents about my brother's Aids

Image by Rabblefish via Flickr

It is rare enough to see a full page in a mainstream newspaper about AIDS even rarer when it is not AIDS in Africa (one of my gripes with the media here). Imagine my surprise when this frank account of a sister was published in the Irish Independent on 7 April 2008 (yes, just a year ago... I am a lazy blogger).

I am looking for similar stories, if anyone can help please add a comment to this blog.

HivenMan+ A Hero Like You and Me, on AZT

Dublin's artist Will St Leger produces a quarterly queerzine called Butcher Queers whose first issue I was lucky enough to grab a copy of (there are only 1000 numbered issues). Will's a nice guy with good work behind him. His zine is beautifully designed and produced.

In Issue 1, we meet HivenMan+, the boy next door with a secret. His story resonated with me, perhaps with you too. I copy the first picture from this short story and encourage you to download the zine following the links below.

To read the rest of the story, download Issue 1 of Butcher Queers
Keep up with the Butcher Queers blog
Catch up with past issues, available from the Queer Zine Archive Project

Man guilty of murder for not disclosing his HIV status

It happened in Canada. How do you feel about that? Is it right to talk about the criminalisation of aids?

Full article http://www.ottawacitizen.com/news/guilty+murder+disclosing+status/1465433/story.html

Happy World Aids Day

Wishing everyone a Happy World Aids Day!

How are you making this day count? Are you? I probably will end up texting the radio stations that AIDS doesn't only affect children in Africa. Last year not a word was said about the national Stamp Out Sigma initiatives - until they read my text message. Grrr... it annoys me so much.

Bless you all
Love you all

Click to see POZ.com list of events around the world

Definition: HIV Stigma

HIV Stigma: Prejudice and discrimination directed at people living with HIV/AIDS (PLWHA), and the groups and communities that they are associated with. It can result in people living with HIV/AIDS being rejected from their community, shunned, discriminated against or even physically hurt.

Taken from Avert.org and obviously you want to click the link and read more.

HIV Stigma.com asks 'If you were rejected every time you disclosed, would you?'

Would you? After a brief, sensual video introduction on HIVSTIGMA.COM you are asked to decide. I was taken aback, overwhelmed, intrigued and excited at the same time.

Click Skip (bottom right corner of the screen on that page) to proceed to the website. You are met by handsome hiv positive men with a message. They have been living with hiv for years or months; they have been living with the stigma of the hiv label (HIV Stigma definition)

You won't be surprised to hear that I already have a crush on a few of the gentlement who posted their videos or blogs. This being a Canadian website, however, chances of a romantic relationship developing between any of those good looking guys and poor old me are thin. Also, they would have to know that I am watching them. Mere details, I know.

Explore the website now further and get sucked into the discussion.

Bareback and HIV - I wouldn't do it again

unfortunately the original post on Carigslist has now disappeared but if you can strain your eyes for two minutes to read this message, it's a sincere call to be careful before you have unprotected sex.

Neg - Poz Dating, A Success Story

This is the kind of story that makes you go, 'awwwww, how lovely' and then go 'I want some of that too.' What can we learn from Ray's story? That is possible to have a loving relationship regardless of your hiv status. That being upfront about it is a good policy. That love at first sight happens. That hiv is an insignificant part of life and a huge part of life at the same time and finally that hiv medication may have side effects but then also that...

"Life has side effects"

Watch the Youtube video. If you want to share your own stories, please drop me a line, leave comment.

Aids + Denial + Internet = Death

Echoing the 80s IGNORANCE = DEATH message, this attractive little poster gleaned on Flickr (Denialist = Death) sums it up for denialism. The very talented B S E has many, many other eye-catching, engaging and engaged pictures on Flickr. Go view them all now!

Check out the Hall of Shame of denialists also.

Before using or redistributing this image, see terms of licence http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.5/

View more HIV ART in my blog

Virtually no escaping HIV

Image via Wikipedia

HIV exists also in virtual world Second Life, if the presence of a HIV Prevention and Care center is anything to go by. And lauded thatshould be too. While you and I may be playing Second Life for free, it's big bucks being spent on education and outreach. The project runs from 1st Octiober 2008 to 31st March 2010.

The Alliance Library System (ALS) is pleased to announce that the National Library of Medicine has awarded ALS a $60,000 grant for a project entitled "AIDS Information and Outreach in the Virtual World of Second Life." The project includes the creation of a new island with a community AIDS/HIV library/resource center. The resource center will provide information support and outreach to the Second Life community and beyond about AIDS/HIV and its prevention. The new island will also be home to a garden space where narratives about the AIDS/HIV experience can be shared through art, audio, video, poetry, essays, and more. The project runs from October 1, 2008 – March 31, 2010.

Resources

http://healthinfoisland.blogspot.com/
http://healthinfoisland.blogspot.com/2008/03/aids-and-hiv-center.html
http://www.flickr.com/photos/7914892@N05/2462631597
Second Life

Newly Diagnosed with HIV? It's not all bad.

"What's Next" the new online resource made available by the Terence Higgins Trust is aimed at people newly diagnosed with HIV. It's not all bad is one of the sections of the site which caught my attention, as I always look for the positive spin, the light at the end of the tunnel, the silver lining with any HIV story.

http://whatnext.tht.org.ukIt's not all bad, because now has never been a better time in terms of treatment options which have been proven to give us pozitrons, hiv-ers, people living with hiv/aids a normal life (if there is such a thing as normal). Also that article tells us that love and happy relationships are just as realistic expectations with or without the virus.

Browse the site and see what you think. What is your favourite/ least favourite page?

Resources

It's not all bad http://whatnext.tht.org.uk/findingout/itsnotallbad
What next? http://whatnext.tht.org.uk/

Yay! US end HIV-Traveller Ban

World map of travel and residence restrictions...

Image via WikipediaIf Gay.com say it's true then it must be true, " President Bush signed legislation Wednesday that repeals the law barring HIV-positive visitors and immigrants". This is the good news I was looking forward to only a couple of days ago.

America, here I come!

Sadly, as this map illustrates, there is still a long way to go before the rest of the world opens its borders to people with HIV. Too bad, their loss!

Speaking of maps, I wonder if the fascinating Strange Maps blog is aware of (or even interested in) the above. Let's go find out...

US finally welcome HIV/AIDS again. Here I come!

Image via Wikipedia

After two decades of burying their head in the sand, the United States of America finally consider putting an end to the ban on people with HIV/AIDS.

The effect of that absurd ban was that people with HIV/AIDS who still wanted to conduct business in the US or just enjoy a holiday had to either travel without their medication or smuggle them into their luggage at the risk of being found out and banned for life.

The latter was my experience. When in 2003 my boss offered me to visit the mothership in the state of Washington I did not want to turn down the opportunity. At the same time, I did not want to tell my boss about my hiv status. Taking with me enough to take me through the long flight, I stuffed the rest of my medication into the bottom of my bag hoping that I would not be searched.

Thank God, I went through border control without any hassle from the rather intimidating security staff!

Visiting the US was a great experience. The US seem so familiar because we see so much of it through films and TV series, finding myself walking in downtown Seattle was like being on a movie set. Walk. Don't Walk. Extreme service in shops. ID required to drink in bars. And handsome Americans to boot.

In those past 12 and a bit years since I was diagnosed and put on medication I swore I would never go there. I even rationalised that I was never into American culture to begin with. Now that the borders seem to open themselves to people with HIV who take their medication with them, I have to admit that I am curious about it. That I wish I could have visited even more of the things I heard about in movies and on TV... I can even make plans now to attend conferences and meet some of the brightest brains on earth. How cool is that?

Fingers crossed that this will happen, finally.

HIV Glamourous with Good Girl Gone Even Better Rihanna

H&M HIV Team-Up Brings Out Rihanna's Emotions

What other medical condition has as many glamorous supporters -oops! I mean opponents- as hiv/aids? Welcome Rihanna to the list of beautiful people who make the fight against HIV and AIDS that much more interesting and us somewhat lucky after all!

Poz dating: If you are not Poz, don't answer Poz ads!

I wrote about my attempt at recruiting a new lover, a hiv-aware one, through a mainstream small ad recently. Well, this reply I received only the other day made me realise I got it wrong...

hey man i'n 26 slim with shaved head on ********** avenue bside the ********* pub. i like the sound of u. whats POZ? get back 2 me dude i'd like 2 meet ya

"Whats POZ?" Doh! Then it hit me: how many replied not knowing what that POZ thing was about?

For one, I thought why do they answer an ad looking which clearly states that I am looking for a POZ guy? Presumably, if they don't know what POZ is, then surely they should think that maybe they are not POZ and therefore not apply in the first place.

I can almost see myself facing a court of justice...

The plaintiff: "This blogger poisoned me with hiv"*
Me: "But I told you I was hiv-positive"
The plaintiff: "But what the **** is hiv-positive?"

Ignorance kills.
* in the unlikely event that we had unsafe sex and the plaintiff was contaminated.

Poz dating: Poz guy seeks Poz guy

Poz dating appears to be this month's resolution. I finally took the plunge and posted an (anonymous) ad in order to find me someone to love. My previous attempts with personals on poz.com having made only very small progress, I decided I had nothing to lose. Here it is.

Poz guy seeks Poz guy

"Good looking, fun, sentimental, kinky, horny, friendly seeks similar for friendship, fun or relationship meet for coffee, chat see what happens Not into unsafe sex."

Until I reached this level of desperation, I did not think I would ever have to resort to serosorting but that only proves that I was just as prejudiced agains hiv as the rest of the world.

Because gumtree (similar to craigslist) is a mainstream site, my ad has been more successful than my poz.com profile in getting attention and I got five or six messages from interested gentlemen. Now, because it is a mainstream site, that also means that the replies may not be appropriate. In fact two of those gay/bi gentlemen appeared to be attached and looking for fun only; with three others I have a good few e-mail exchanges already; one of those last three I have even met.

That last one does not seem to understand the meaning of poz, unfortunately, so I still have some explaining to do methinks. We have met already and dined and danced though no chemistry there... but enough sparks to make a good friend.

So, still looking!

Am I the only one living with HIV?

Help.com is a great resource if, like me, you sometimes wonder if you are the only one in the world who is living with hiv or has any problems at all. While not a resource focussed on HIV or even medical issues, a search on 'hiv' returns quite a few questions from people like you and me.

You can browse questions and answer the ones you feel knowledgeable enough to answer. You can post your own questions and wait for answers. The whole forum is highly interactive and reciprocity is the keyword there. Once you post a question, you are offered to answer somebody's question. Once you receive an answer you are prompted to look at the other person's own dilemma.

Issues range from 'Is it a date?' to 'I can not go on living anymore'.

Under the 'hiv' tag quite a few posters ask "How long can I live if I am HIV+? or I am so scared that I may have caught the hiv virus.

Post can be anonymous or not, you get to decide everytime you contribute so privacy is not an issue.

Not only do I find great comfort in being able to pour my heart out to the world, knowing that someone somewhere on the planet cares enough to reply brings me much joy. After sobbing for a while over my sad little life (more about this later, see Will anyone ever love me again despite the fact that I was diagnosed with hiv?) I found myself finding pleasure in helping others with their own questions.

So go over to help.com and help me, help someone or find help.

HIV in the long term

Unlike Matthias Herrmann, I don't recall the exact date I was infected with hiv. It's some time in August 1996 that I was diagnosed and that I asked my new doctor, tentatively, "you know, like, ahemmm... in terms of life expectancy, how long do you think I have?" He replied without much hesitation,"With current treatments, about ten years."

That sounded just right to me. Enough time to do stuff with my life and prepare to say goodbye and not so much that I would need to worry about getting a pension plan or think about aging gracefully. I felt I'd be very lucky to see the new millenium and the introduction of a common European currency. Yet, I lived to see both, much to my surprise, and I felt elated!

Now, one year after my Expires-By date, I realise how hard it was to project myself into a future much beyond 2006 and, at least not without major illnesses hitting me along the way.

But back in 96, triple combination therapies appeared as a new treatment options. Much hype and hope led us to think hiv eradication was on the way. I resolved to live to see that day too.

So let's take that step together, whatever it takes and whatever the experts say: let's eradicate hiv from our bodies, from our minds, from our language and fill them with love, faith and strength instead.

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