HIV and AIDS Jokes: Chris Rock top quotes

Comedian :en:Chris Rock at the New York City p...Comedia Chris Rock. Image via Wikipedia

Chris Rock hits it on the nail.I haven't come across many comedians or people brave enough to joke about hiv aids so I was delighted when I watched Chris Rock's show on New Year's Even and heard these gems.

About taking the test and worrying about the result. Rings a bell?
I took the AIDS test... passed it... with a 65! Now, the scary thing about the AIDS test is that when you take it, you don't get the results back for FIIIVVEE days, and in those five days you start reflectin'. You start reflectin' on every single piece of dirty, disgusting little sex you've ever had! Oh my God, 1993, what the fuck was I thinkin'? Then, you start callin' people up to see if they still alive!

About waiting for the test results anxiously and calling recent shags just to check that they are still alive and well...
[Impersonating a telephone call]
Chris Rock: Yeah, hello, is Stacy there? "This is Stacy." CLICK! Hello, is Tammy there? "Oh, Tammy dead." Well, what happened? "... she got hit by a bus." OH, THANK THE LORD!
About gays in the military - not HIV/AIDS but close to my heart and my thinking!
If they wanna fight, let 'em fight. Cause I ain't fightin'! I don't give a fuck if there's a Russian tank rollin' down Flatbush Avenue. I ain't shootin' nobody. So call me a faggot! When the war's over, I'll be the faggot with two legs, thank you!
About curing AIDS. I've had athlete's foot for a very long time, well before hiv but the funny thing is... now my doctor would tell me that it is caused by my hiv!!!!
You think the government is gonna cure AIDS? NOO! They can't even cure athlete's foot!
So true. Why cure AIDS? Slight digression on the same theme.
The government curing AIDS? That's like Cadillac making a car that last for fifty years... and you know they can do it! But they ain't gonna do something that fucking dumb! Shit! They got metal on the space shuttle that can go around the moon and withstand temperatures up to 20,000 degrees. You mean to tell me you don't think they can make an El Dorado where the fucking bumper don't fall off?

Jokes or political criticism? Offensive or necessary? What do you think?
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Anonymous said...

This isn't a religious comment, I'm not very religious. Just think - if no-one engaged in buggery, how much less AIDS would there be in the world? So here goes, this one comes from Amsterdam with love:
Why was the 30 year old queer so sad?
Because all his friends were dead. HAH!
The most important thing about AIDS jokes is that they don't spread AIDS, but hopefully they will discourage people from engaging in AIDS-spreading acts.

admin said...

I published the comment by Anonymous but I want to make it clear that I don't share his or her views.

There is nothing religious about the comment and I wonder why the comment starts with "this isn't a religious comment". It seems possible to be bigoted without being religious - highly likely even. True religion preaches to love one another, no?

Anyway. The comment has very strong homophobic slant which ignores the fact that most HIV in the world is transmitted via good old heterosexual vaginal sex; needles probably come second. As for buggery,no denying the fact that any form of intercourse is likely to spread sexually transmitted infections more than no intercourse at all. However if people get pleasure out of buggery then it is very easy to bugger and get buggered without HIV transmission occurring.

Just think - if the church did not ban condoms, how much less AIDS would there be in the world?

Why was the 30 year old anonymous commmenter so sad? Because all his friends thought he was not very funny.

Anonymous said...

hey, admin, I know you are trying to be all politically correct and all, trying not to offend anyone including trying to convince yourself that "buggery" has absolutely nothing to do with spreading AIDS.

but the plain fact is, that is a lie. please stop lying to yourself. and stop encouraging others to lie to themselves. you try to put forth the notion, "any form of intercourse is likely to spread sexually transmitted infections more than no intercourse at all."

erm, yeah, that is not true. if two people are monogamous and not whores, and made sure to get tested before starting to bugger each other, and also were upfront and honest enough with each other to talk about these things, that does the trick. AIDS does not magically fly into your home from the AIDS fairy to land in your anus and infect you.

please don't sit there spreading the myth that behaving yourself and taking care of yourself has no bearing on your health.

Rajesh said...

Nice information .thank you so much.HIV Aids Treatment

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